Saturday, April 21, 2007

feels like home.

I was all set to finish another blog but somewhere between carrying in 500 bags of groceries and walking the dogs, I lost my motivation to complete that particular story. I guess I just got more introspective or thoughtful (for lack of a better word). Anyway, my mind and heart are currently occupied with things that are precious to me.

So, I'm sitting here listening to a song that's entitled "Feels Like Home." And you know what feels like home for me (other than family)?

Friends.

Watching the news about the tragedy at Virginia Tech only reaffirms the absolute need we each have for community. Would things be different if the gunman had someone in his life who knew him and cared about him? Would Virginia Tech even be in the news?

Friends feel like home. They just do. You feel like you're where you belong when you're with them. And I'm not talking the general population who happen to know your name or could recognize you in a lineup. I'm talking about those select few (and oh are they few and far between) who know your heart better than your face. To be honest, you should count yourself blessed beyond measure if you have just one. It is rare. It is precious. And its value is immeasurable.

I have a very small handful of friends like that. Some new, some old. I honestly don't know what I've done to be that lucky, but I carry gratitude like none other because of them... and only because of them. There is nothing I have or could ever do to deserve that. In my life, I have always had a hard time wrapping my head and my heart around grace (I am a child of God, accepting him when I was younger - but the truly grace-filled life has escaped me for longer than I would like to admit). Amidst my valiant effort to fight off having to trust and believe in a grace that is free and true were adversaries (known as my friends) fighting right back, disrupting my cynicism and my doubt. Those people (and they hopefully know who they are) are grace personified to me. A personalized picture of the cross. They don't know it, but Jesus has put them strategically on the frontlines of a fierce battle for my heart, and more importantly, for my complete surrender. I believe, at least for me, that it will be through these people that I truly become who God wants me to be.

The completion of me won't happen until I see Him face to face, but that just means it's the journey that matters most. Well, it's taken me a very long time to realize it, but on this journey (or any other journey for that matter) I don't want to walk it alone. I've done that for far too long. I need my friends. I need community. I can't do it otherwise. I don't know why I'm always surprised by that and try to prove the contrary... but it is as true and as real as the air I breathe.

Anyway, this goes out to my friends... my longtime ones that I appreciate more and more now that there is some distance between us due to life and work and family. And to my new ones who have stepped into my life as if they've always been there. It really does feel like home.

2 comments:

mindy clarkson said...

welcome home.

Matt Davis said...

You are already who God wants you to be in every moment that your life gives him his due glory. He will be the one to complete his work in us (Philippians 1:3-6).